Psalm 50:20 You sit and speak against your brother;
You slander your own mother’s son.
21 These things you have done, and I kept silent;
You thought that I was altogether like you;
But I will rebuke you,
And set them in order before your eyes.
I took a Keirsey personality test the other day, along with my husband. It was just for fun at first, but the Lord used it to reveal some things we had not seen before about ourselves and each other. We usually don’t do these things; we were created by the Lord and He has defined us YET it seemed a good thing.
There are Four Basic Personality Types; The Guardian, The Realist, The Artisan and The Rational. Under each basic four are subheadings. I am a Realist Counselor, while my husband is a Rational Architect.
A Guardian is a person who protects institutions and laws; such as The Constitution, the System of Government, Marriage, etc – protects it so that it does not come crashing down and an enemy swiftly come in to rule.
A Realist is a person who would be just as happy to burn the institutions to the ground if they were completely corrupt and start over again.
The Artisan is able to reshape something already in existence using hands and instruments.
The Rational is more focused on problem solving using analytical skills and data.
As a Realist Counselor I am drawn to teach, but I excel in one-to-one coaching and love to start from the beginning, laying good foundations and building upon until a person becomes whole in body, mind, spirit, and in all relationships. Seeing something made whole is what drivers me.
As a Rational Architect, my husband is drawn to take everything apart and lay all the pieces on the table in order to analyze each part (think of a map maker or a draftsman). Seeing things apart in order to understand them is what seems to drive him.
What does that practically look like in our home?
Basically, I want to put everything in order. He wants to take everything apart.
What we both saw when we took this test is that we are not necessarily doing anything to each other to drive us crazy. My husband is not lazy, and I am not neurotic. We are doing what we do by Design.
I see the Potter who is willing to smash His work to the ground and resculpt. My vision is The WHOLE thing completed. He sees the Architect who framed the world, understanding every little piece in detail. His vision is EVERY LITTLE PIECE. Every hair on the head. He isn’t interested in perfection because perfection to him is the detail.
What we do not have to do
I do not have to be filled with anxiety thinking he doesn’t care about my need to have my house in order and he doesn’t have to feel I’m de-legitimizing his need to understand all the pieces from every angle.
But most importantly, we are both created in God’s image. I am created to reflect one side of His personality while my husband reflects another. The Lord is not altogether like me, nor altogether like my husband, but rather He is fully seen in every one of us All Together and to be divided against the other because of who we are is to really blaspheme who God is.
I just can’t see it any other way. Neither can my husband.