In this moment
I have Peace
In this moment
I have Joy
In this moment
The presence of God
In this moment
I choose Grace
In this moment
I choose Love
In this moment
In this place
Is the presence of God
And these moments
Add to minutes
And these minutes
Add to years
And these years
When each moment
Is with God
In this moment
He’s your Answer
In this moment
He is Truth
In this moment
You’re His dancer
Following the feet of God
Today is the 3rd anniversary of mom’s death. Hard to believe it has gone by so quickly. When I am not thinking logically, I find myself saying “where is mom?” Especially when I’m feeling like I need approval which is weird because approval was not something mom gave me often. Everyone in the world, yes. But not me. She wanted so much more from me and often made that known.
So, why? Because she was mom. I am a very independent person. I do not live my life to please people. I LIKE people to be pleased but I don’t live my life to please people and that was always an issue with mom. She often thought of other’s who did and wanted to know why I didn’t? She would think of all her friends’ daughters or women at church who had good paying professional careers, and say “why can’t you be like so and so?”
It absolutely unnerved me and often caused us to not speak to each other. When I graduated from college with some credentials in the natural health field, and when I became an author, I couldn’t wait to tell her. But the natural health field is not medical. I was not a nurse like my brother Michael, and I was not making money as an author. Anyone can be an author, right?
But, at the end of the day, it was because she thought I was SO smart, that she felt my choices in life didn’t match how smart I was. I could have been something. And she only wanted the best for me.
What I miss is not so much approval, but I sometimes miss that impetus in her voice that pushed me to be better, even though I didn’t choose relationships or careers she thought I was capable of being in. Only she was able to trigger that drive for better but while she was alive, I could not see that. I saw it as I was her biggest disappointment.
I just miss HER.
That trigger which drove me to push for better was more a need to please mom. But even in that, I ultimately could not.
I learned a most valuable lesson. Perspective is often after the fact. I WANTED to please mom. Though I am independent, I really wanted to please her.
It was because of our friction (my need to please her and never could – her need for me to fill a role I also never could) that she ultimately found peace through Christ. And I miss her, but I know where she is and I know I will see her again.
I overheard a store employee say “I don’t get paid enough to take this crap!”
I wanted to ask “How much do you need to get paid to take crap?”
Many blogs are written and memes made about attitude. I was looking at a few this morning.
Then I read this this morning:
Psalm 18:4 The pangs of death surrounded me,
And the floods of ungodliness made me afraid.
5 The sorrows of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
6 In my distress I called upon the Lord,
And cried out to my God;
He heard my voice from His temple,
And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.
7 Then the earth shook and trembled;
The foundations of the hills also quaked and were shaken,
Because He was angry.
8 Smoke went up from His nostrils,
And devouring fire from His mouth;
Coals were kindled by it.
9 He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With darkness under His feet.
10 And He rode upon a cherub, and flew;
He flew upon the wings of the wind.
11 He made darkness His secret place;
His canopy around Him was dark waters
And thick clouds of the skies.
12 From the brightness before Him,
His thick clouds passed with hailstones and coals of fire.
13 The Lord thundered from heaven,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
14 He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe,
Lightnings in abundance, and He vanquished them.
15 Then the channels of the sea were seen,
The foundations of the world were uncovered
At Your rebuke, O Lord,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
Attitude without perspective is just a shallow front. Attitude is outward while perspective is inward. Perspective is what is seen that helps shape the attitude.
David saw beyond the earthquakes, the pangs of death, the debauchery and deception around him. He saw through the fog and the fire and beyond the lightning. He heard a Voice in the thunder and roaring waters.
He saw the Almighty God.
Today it is cold and rainy with patches of fog. I expect to see God.
While strolling through the Psalms this morning, I was stopped here. I read through in one version then in another, not really sure what I am supposed to see.
No, I don’t feel as close to God these days – at least when compared with earlier days.
No, I don’t feel as filled with delight and wonder as I did over a decade ago.
I could think of all kinds of reasons why I don’t, but none seem to be “it.”
Except one. One thing drags me down farther than anything else. My lame feet. I literally have lame feet. Filled with arthritis and pain, nerve shocks that lift me off the ground when I walk and toward the end of the day cause my legs to be so heavy I cannot lift them.
Okay two things – but I can’t write this publicly. God knows the pain of loneliness that can only be remedied with a companion to talk to. I don’t mean friend or counselor. I mean companion. What happened to my companion?
Well maybe there is another. CompanionS. And I cannot be public with that either. God knows.
Then I think “If only my feet and legs would work, none of this would matter. I have resources and skills and talents. My own work would praise me like the Proverbs 31 woman’s works praised her!”
But my feet and legs don’t work and I am filled with struggle day in and day out.
“ReMember Me” I hear Him say
“ReMember Me in the cool of the day”
“ReMember Me with each step you take”
“ReMember Me for the Kingdom’s sake”
“I will ReMember You”
This is deeper than just thinking of Him.
Those words “ReMember Me” have to do with healing of my own body, and healing of His.
Body parts cannot act independently of themselves without getting cut off at the knees.
I cried out to God with my voice—
To God with my voice;
And He gave ear to me.
2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;
My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;
My soul refused to be comforted.
3 I remembered God, and was troubled;
I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah
4 You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5 I have considered the days of old,
The years of ancient times.
6 I call to remembrance my song in the night;
I meditate within my heart,
And my spirit makes diligent search.
7 Will the Lord cast off forever?
And will He be favorable no more?
8 Has His mercy ceased forever?
Has His promise failed forevermore?
9 Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? Selah
10 And I said, “This is my anguish;
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
11 I will remember the works of the Lord;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
12 I will also meditate on all Your work,
And talk of Your deeds.
13 Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
Who is so great a God as our God?
14 You are the God who does wonders;
You have declared Your strength among the peoples.
15 You have with Your arm redeemed Your people,
The sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
16 The waters saw You, O God;
The waters saw You, they were afraid;
The depths also trembled.
17 The clouds poured out water;
The skies sent out a sound;
Your arrows also flashed about.
18 The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;
The lightnings lit up the world;
The earth trembled and shook.
19 Your way was in the sea,
Your path in the great waters,
And Your footsteps were not known.
20 You led Your people like a flock
By the hand of Moses and Aaron.
Remember Annanias and Saphira? They lied, they died. Pretty harsh to many people’s standards, right?
Yes it is but God is just.
God was establishing a church in the time of A & S, and He was establishing a righteous church – of course I mean a people, not a building. How far from holy have we fallen?
Well He has not changed and is cleaning up His church. He is coming for a pure and spotless Bride, without stain or wrinkle. We are not there, but we will be by the time He is finished uprooting tares and separating the sheep and goats.
Here is a time to sharpen your sword, clean up your act, repent of your sins and fall to your knees.
God the Father, desires a pure and spotless Bride for His Son. It is all about Jesus, Yeshua. It is all about A King. Everything created is in Him, for Him, by Him, through Him and about Him.
Hear my prayer Oh Lord for our President, it is a just prayer, it is a righteous plea. Hear the cry from my fingertips which you have acknowledged so many times before.
Hear my prayer for our President which does not come from trigger fingers without consideration. Let his vindication come straight from You, may Your eyes see what is right.
You have probed his heart and you have examined him and tested him. You have forgiven his transgressions and have strengthened him.
You have found that he has planned no evil and has not transgressed against you and your plans.
Though he is accused of bribery, it is his enemies who try to bribe him. He has kept himself from the ways of the violent. His steps have held onto the path you have laid out for him and he has not stumbled.
I call on You my God for you will answer me; turn your ear to me and hear my prayer for our President and our nation. Show me the wonders of your great love, You save by your right hand those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep us as the apple of your eye; hide us neath the shadow of your wings from the wicked who seek to destroy us, from mortal enemies who surround us and are among us.
They have closed their callous hearts and their mouths speak with arrogance. They have tracked our President down, have put a bounty on his head, and his enemies are numerous who surround him. With eyes alert they seek t throw him to the ground.
They are like a lion hungry for prey, a crouching lion in fierce cover.
Rise up Lord, confront them. Bring them down with your sword and rescue him from the wicked. By your hand save us from evil people who seek to destroy us for their gain.
May what you have stored up for them fill them and may they be gorged on it; all those who follow them.
As for me, I will be vindicated when I see your face and when I awake I will see your likeness.
Touching something is part of the process of free will. Take away the touching and you take away the free will. God never said “you shall not go through the process of deciding whether to obey My command or not.”
The trouble is not the process of decision. The trouble comes when you actually hear the Word of God and choose to ignore or disobey it.
Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?”
vs 2 The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;
vs 3 but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’”